Where Have all the Hobos Gone?: February 2012

Veggie Basil Pizza

Tonight is my Super Bowl. That's right, the Oscars. And just like the Super Bowl I always make the same food. For the Super Bowl I make Party Meatballs; for the Oscars I make Veggie Pizza. The Super Bowl is all about the guys and fattening food. The Oscars are all about the ladies and healthier food.

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I would love to tell you that everything that goes into this pizza is homemade, but I cannot lie and tell you that and I'll confess right now that I bought a store bought pizza crust and pizza sauce. However, if you are more inclined you can totally make this pizza with all homemade ingredients (crust and sauce) if that is your thing. Have at it and more power to you!

VEGGIE BASIL PIZZA

Whole Wheat Pizza Crust (I use Boboli)

Pizza Sauce, 15 oz (I use Muir Glen)

Olive Oil

Mozzarella Cheese (I use the pricier Mozzarella that comes in a square block)

Spinach

Tomato

Zucchini

Green & Red Bell Pepper

Red Onion

Fresh Basil

You can also add mushrooms for those who LOVE those things. I don't.
*scrunches nose*

Brush some olive oil on top of pizza crust.

Pour and spread about 1/2 of a can of the pizza sauce.

Mince up some fresh basil and sprinkle on top

Lay down enough (washed & dried) spinach leaves on the sauce that you will have a couple pieces in each slice

Next put on sliced onions, green & red bell peppers

Put on the sliced tomatoes and zucchini

Last cover with the mozzarella cheese. Enough so it'll cover the top once it melts

Bake in a 450 degree over for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted and starting to brown.

Let cool for 5 minutes.

Slice it up and enjoy!

I should also mention that today was (supposed to be) Happy NascOscar Day, because the Daytona 500 was also scheduled to happen.

The Rain Nazi however said, "No race for you!".

Stinky Piggies

I'm practicing better techniques for computer drawing.

Step one: "How to draw a realistic metal tube".

The drawing above took me two hours, TWO HOURS! For that little drawing! Doing things well takes time and patience. I have a little time and zero patience. I'll stick to my crude less realistic interpretations. Like:

A STINKY PIGGY IN A TRUCK!

That black plume of smoke was the beginning of a stink cloud coming from the little piggy. Eventually, I planned to insert other pictures in the back of the truck alongside the pig. I got sidetracked.

The piggy drawing was inspired after I was driving and got stuck behind a tractor trailer that was hauling pigs. While stuck behind it in rush hour traffic, I had time to ponder the animals journey to their death. Eventually the stench shocked me out of my PETA stupor and I got the hell over and passed them while avoiding eye contact with those poor pork pooches as I passed by the truck.

In other news...

My dog, Steeler, turns ten years old this year. To commemorate his birthday, I decided to put together a photo montage of him as a puppy. Here it is:

Yes, that's right. I have ONE PICTURE of him as a puppy, and that picture is actually a black/white printed copied from the web page picture that was posted from the seller. I don't even have a puppy picture that I actually took by my own hand. For shame! What the hell was wrong with me?

The only thing I can blame is that I had already had my two children and was in revolt on taking pictures. I don't know. Damn, this sucks. Look how cute the little stinker was as a puppy. I need more photos of him and it isn't too late. He's still cute so I shall now go overboard with picture taking to try to lick my guilt wounds. Here goes....

"Are you serious right now?"


"A freakin snowman bandana? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Maybe if I fake sleep she'll leave me alone. Oh, who am I kidding."

"HUMILIATION. THAT'S WHAT THIS IS!"

QUESTION: Are you obsessed with taking a lot of pictures or are you lazy with it? Or do you not own a camera and live in a remote part of Mongolia* where owning a camera is reason for imprisonment?

(*I apologize to all Mongolians, I'm sure you allow your citizens freedom of picture snapping. You are just the first country that popped into my brain. By the way I love your beef dish. Thanks)

PS. I created an off shoot blog which will serve as a depository for my other drawings that don't really fit with the posts on my Hobo Blog. If interested go check it out. It is called "Canned Beans Gallery". You can also find the link at the top of this page, in case you were wondering what "Beans" was. I'll keep farting out pictures over there so check back.

Strapless Backless Gown vs Gingham Handkerchief Tops

UPDATE: My post below in no way mirrors my current thoughts of Honey Boo Boo and her family. I think I was drunk when I wrote it.

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Haters gonna hate. No matter. A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo child.

I know the show Toddlers & Tiaras is as wrong as can be, but I swear the little pageant girl, Alana, is my new hero. Forget about ingesting speedballs when you can just have Go Go juice! I can not run to the grocery store fast enough to pick up my mountain dew and red bull. If it is good enough for a six year old beauty queen, then damn it, it is all kinds of good enough for me. I want to have Go Go Juice parties. I want to serve Honey Boo Boo Cupcakes. I want to buy all my supplies with COUPONS! And, yes, I want everyone looking at my BELLEH!

Here she is.....

Have you all seen those new internet memes? I see them all the time on Pinterest. They are the "Reality vs Expectations" pictures. Whereby people find pictures of people verbing it in some manner and one of the pictures is considered expectation and the other reality. A complete collection can be found HERE.

Well, here's one I made up about the female speaking voice, mine imparticular.